Who needs aliens?

May is my favourite month of the year for weather. It’s warm but not humid, and there still aren’t too many insects about. Apart from these buggers that is. For the past few years we’ve had centipede incursions every May. This particular one was waiting in the doorway when I arrived home one night last week. I usually catch insects and let them out, but for these nightmares I make an exception. Boiling water does them in.

A couple of experiences.

One time I was sitting at the computer. You know those comedy horror films where there’s a person and this huge monster is behind them? They’ll mistake the monster’s claw for their wife’s hand or something and bat it away? Well I was that person and one of these creatures was the monster. I thought it was a thread on my jumper touching the back of my neck. I kept brushing it away until I realised what it was. I hit the ceiling. Never moved so fast.

Then, one time I was sitting watching the telly. No warning. Something’s up my trouser leg! Pain!! One of the little buggers had slipped up unnoticed and rammed its horns into my shin. Again, I’ve never moved as quickly in my life. The two holes took over a week to heal.

This one here is about the length of my middle finger. Very meaty and has a weight when you pick it up. More like a little animal than an insect. And look at the colour. Who needs aliens when these things are lurking nearby?